by Eriko Ogawa

In the room, Eriko and her daughter were drinking coffees which were a little bit bitter. Her daughter was 20 years old, and she goes to university. She study Spanish and want to go abroad to especially Spain. However, it is difficult to go abroad because of money. Although she knows that there is no money, she sometimes complains about it. When she complained her mother, her mother did not say anything to her. After that, she regretted saying such a thing. That is, she liked her mother very much. Suddenly, Eriko started to talk to her daughter. It was unusual for her to tell this kind of story.
"Before I gave birth to you, I was a nurse. You are surprised, aren't you? At that time, my best friend was Naomi. I met her when I was in elementary school. Since then, Naomi and I have gotten along with each other. We went to the same junior high school, high school and university. I majored in nursing when I was a student of university. However, she was not the same major. She majored in literature. After we graduated from university, we both got jobs. I became a nurse and she became an office worker. For a few years, we did not meet. All of sudden, I had a call from her. She said that she wanted to meet me, so we made a date to meet. A few days passed. On March 3rd, Naomi and I met in front of the station. Now that station is not very big, as you know. We met after not seeing each other for a long time. We enjoyed the conversation. However, I though that something was strange. I asked her if she was ok. However, she answered yes of course. She said that she had a boyfriend. When we were talking about her boyfriend, I thought that she was acting strangely. After we had dinner, we said good-bye."
While she was talking, her daughter noticed that her mother was crying. Her daughter wondered why but her daughter did not ask her.
Eriko kept talking. "I said that Naomi and I had dinner together, didn't I? After there was our meeting, we had not met for a long time. One day, after I came home, message was left in the answering machine. It was from Naomi, so I called back to her. Naomi answered the phone in a somber voice.
I said, 'I am sorry that I could not answer the phone. I worked. What is it?'
Naomi replied, 'I want to consult with you, so can you meet right away?'
It was late and I had to get up early next morning, so I was about to say that I' m sorry. However, I remembered her somber voice of Naomi, so I decided to meet her right away.
I answered, 'Ok. Let's meet in front of the station right away. See you later!'
I was really worried about her because she was my best friend. I changed my clothes right away and went to the station. In front of the station, Naomi was already waiting for me. We went in a restaurant near the station. As expected, she looked strange.
I asked her directly 'What is your worry? Is it about your boyfriend?'
Naomi was disturbed and replied that 'I can not say Yes, but the worry is related to my boyfriend.'
I said that 'Please tell me your worry. You do not care anything.'
Naomi said that 'At your hospital, are there patients who are suffer from AIDS?'
I answered that 'Yes. Is this question related to your worry?'
She was confused. Her hands trembled when she was taking a coffee cup. I saw her hands trembling, but I did not mention it.
She said that 'Yes, it is related to my worry. It is hard to say. You may be surprised at my worry.'
I said to her, 'You do not have to worry. Please tell me.'
'To tell the truth,.... I have HIV. Are you surprised? I was afraid of telling you.'
Although there are many patients who suffer from AIDS in my hospital, I was really surprised.
However, I said to her, 'I am a little, but there are many patients who have HIV in my hospital. Thank you for telling me. Did you test whether you have HIV or not?'
She answered that 'Yes. I tested just to make sure. I thought that I could not be an HIV carrier.'
I said to her that 'People who have HIV did not think they have HIV. I think you are lucky. If you have not had a test, you can not know it. Also, if you know you are an HIV carrier late, you may be too late, so you are lucky. Did you go to the hospital?'
She replied, 'Not yet. I do not have courage, so I do not go to the hospital.'
I said to her that you had to go to hospital as possible as soon. At that time, I really care about her boyfriend so I asked her. She answered no. Actually, I thought that she did not tell her boyfriend before she said no."
Eriko's daughter asked question to Eriko. She asked that "What about Naomi's boyfriend? Was it hard to tell her boyfriend? It is too sad that she could not say something to her boyfriend.
Eriko said to her daughter, "Yes, it was hard to say. Naomi had bothered about it by herself. I thought it was too sad."
Her daughter said to her mother "Sorry, please keep talking."
Eriko began to speak again. "Naomi could not tell her boyfriend, so I recommended her to tell him at first. However, she could not have chance to tell him, so I decided that Naomi, her boyfriend and me meet. I suggested it and Naomi said ok. We decided the date of the meeting. That day came. I was nervous because I had to begin to talk about that. In addition, I would meet her boyfriend for the first time. To tell the truth, I am really shy. Is it unexpected?"
Eriko's daughter said to her smiling, "Yes, I did not know that. I thought you are talkative." While her daughter was saying to her, she was relief because her daughter saw her mother smiling. Her daughter said to her mother that "Please keep talking."
Eriko replied, "Can I drink coffee before I talk to you?"
Her daughter said to her that of course.
She took a cup of coffee and put it sugar. She drank the coffee. After she drank, she kept talking.
"Naomi, her boyfriend and I met in front of the station as usual. When I saw her boyfriend, I was relief because he looked kindly. We decided where we had dinner and left for that restaurant. That was Italian restaurant. It took 15 minutes to that restaurant from the station. While we were walking to that restaurant, I could not speak to Naomi's boyfriend. I was really nervous. We got to the restaurant, we decided what we eat. I was not only shy but also indecisive, so it took long time to decide what I eat. Although it took long time, Naomi's boyfriend did not get angry at all. I thought again that he was nice guy. Naomi ordered pizza which included vegetable and meat. Her boyfriend ordered spaghetti. I also ordered spaghetti which was meat sauce. Until we finished eating dinner, I could not begin to talk about Naomi's disease, AIDS. However, I thought that I had to begin to talk about it. Therefore, I took courage and began to talk.
I said to Naomi's boyfriend, 'To tell the truth, I have something to tell you, so I want you to listen to my talk. Actually, it is not my talk. It is your girl friend, Naomi's talk.'
I gave Naomi chance to talk about her disease. For a few minutes, Naomi did not speak anything. Maybe she was more nervous than me.
Her boyfriend said to her, 'What is wrong with you? Do you want to break up with me?'
She replied to him, 'I do not want to break up with you. Do not worry.'
He said to her, 'Then, what is the matter? Please say to me.'
She started to speak to him. 'Please listen to my talk calmly. I have something to tell you, but I could not do until now. However, I will tell you from now. To tell the truth, I tested whether I have HIV or not. I took the test to just make sure, and I had not thought that I have HIV. However, the result of the test was that I have HIV. When I know that, I was hopeless. I could not eat anything. I tried to say to you, but you were busy because of work. Also, I could not have take courage.' She kept silent.
Her boyfriend looked confused. He did not say to her for a few minutes. At last, he begun to speak, 'I am sorry that I was busy working. Also, I am sorry that you have bothered about it alone. You must languish. Did you talk about AIDS to anyone?'
She answered that only Eriko. She could not talk about it not only her boyfriend but also her parents.
Her boyfriend said to her, 'Did you go to hospital?'
She answered, 'No. Actually, I do not know that I got HIV from whom, so it possible that you have HIV too. I want you to test about AIDS. Can you do that?'
Her boyfriend replied to her with hesitating, 'Ok, but I think that I do not have HIV.'
When Naomi heard that, she thought that he was scaring of taking test about AIDS. Maybe she thought that she was infected by him, so she wanted him to take a test.
Naomi said to her boyfriend again, 'I want you to take a test. It is possible that you have HIV. I did not think that I have HIV before I took a test. However, I got HIV. Please take a test.'
He said to her without hesitating, 'Ok! I will take a test. I think that you think yourself at first. You have to treat you in hospital.'
She was relief when she heard that he take a test. Also, she decided to go to hospital. She appreciated me because I gave her chance to talk about AIDS.
She said to me,' Thank you very much. All is thanks to you. I will go to your hospital.'
I replied to her, 'You are welcome. My hospital has AIDS exclusive medical service, so come to my hospital. Also, you have to consult your parents before you come to my hospital.'
She said to me, 'You gave me courage to tell and I could tell my boyfriend about important thing. Therefore, I can tell my parents by myself. I will tell my parents after I go home. I will go to hospital. It is ok?'
I answered to her, 'I do not have to work tomorrow, so I will go to hospital with you.'
She looked pleased and said to me, 'Really? I am pleased if you go to hospital with me.'
I said to her, 'Then, I will go to your house to pick you up at 11 am.'
She replied, 'Thank you so much.'
They said good bye. They went each home. At that night, Naomi's boyfriend called her and cheered her up. Also, she consulted her parents. Of course, they were surprised when they heard about her disease. At the same, they were very worried about her. They decided to save money because they needed a lot of money to cure the disease. She said to me that her parents looked cry at that time.
Next day came. I went to Naomi's house to pick her up. She was standing in front of her house and she looked like anxious. I stopped in front of her house and she got on my car.
I said to her, 'Hi, could you sleep well?'
She replied to me, 'I did not sleep well. I thought bad cases.'
I said to her, 'Do not worry. I am beside you today.'
She said that thank me so much. We left for hospital where I work. I wanted to cheer her up, so last night I bought CDs which cheer her up for her. I presented her. She looked happy. I was also happy because I saw her smile. I took about 30 minutes to the hospital from her house. At last, we got to the hospital. It seemed that she did not want to get off my car. That is, she did not want to go to hospital. I took her hands and smiled at her. She seemed that she decided to go to hospital. We entered the hospital and went to the AIDS exclusive medical services. She went to the desk and reserved. We were sitting in the waiting room. Her turn came around. We entered the individual room. She sat on a chair and I stood behind her. Doctor came and sat on a chair. I knew the doctor, so I bowed to the doctor. The doctor also bowed to me.
He started to talk. 'Did you have a test for HIV?'
She answered, 'Yes.'
He said to her, 'I want you to take a test again to confirm the results. Is that ok?'
She answered, 'No problem.'
After the conversation, she took a test again and we waited the result. Nurse called her name, so we entered the individual room again. The doctor was already sitting there. She sat on the chair.
The doctor said to her, 'The result was positive. That is to say, you have HIV. It is lucky that you could find your HIV. At first, I will explain what AIDS is.'
Naomi and I listened to the doctor's talk. I was a nurse, so I knew what AIDS was.
The doctor said to her, 'It costs a lot of money to cure your disease. Immunity against diseases will decrease, so do not have a cold as possible as you can. It is possible to die because of AIDS '
When she heard about death, she was really shocked. She did not want to die absolutely. From that day, Naomi had to take medicines everyday. Also, she took care of cold.
After we left hospital, I drove to her boyfriend's house because she wanted to talk with him. She got off from my car in front of his house. She said to her boyfriend that the doctor said to her at that day. She cried when she was talking about it. Her boyfriend also cried. He hugged her kindly.
Next day, her boyfriend tested AIDS's. The result came a few days later. The result was negative. It meant that he did not have HIV. He said to Naomi about that. She was confused because she did not get HIV from him.
It meant that she got HIV from ex-boyfriends. She associated with 3 men but she did not know that she got HIV from which men. Also, she thought that her boyfriend was shocked because she got HIV from another man.
A few years passed. She lived a normal life. She and her boyfriend had gotten along with each other. He always helped her. Although she had HIV, she was happy thanks to him. However, she was worried that she did not begin to menstruate. She thought that this was because I had HIV. A few days later, she felt sick. She felt her trouble. She consulted her boyfriend and decided to go to hospital.
She went to hospital and consulted a doctor. After that, an obstetrician appeared. The doctor said to her, 'You are pregnant. Congratulations.' When she heard about it from the doctor, she was surprised. Also, she was confused because it was possible to communicate her disease to her baby. Maybe, the doctor did not know that she had HIV. Naomi confided to the doctor that she had HIV. The doctor did not conceal surprising. The doctor who took charge of her disease came to an obstetrician. They talked about it.
They asked her, 'Do you want to bear?'
She answered, 'I do not know. I want to consult my boyfriend.'
The obstetrician said to her, 'Ok. If you want to bear your baby, you have to keep up.'
She said to them, 'I see. I will consult my boyfriend and come again.'
The obstetrician said to her, 'Ok. I am waiting you.
She went to her boyfriend's house. She thought that he would be pleased.
She said to him, 'Today, I went to hospital. The doctor said to me that I am... pregnant.'
He said nothing.
She asked him, 'You are not happy?'
He answered that 'I am not unhappy, but... I think that it will be hard to have the baby.'
She said to him, 'I think that it is hard to bear, but I want to bear our baby.'
He said to her, 'If you want to bear our baby, that's fine.'
She felt that he did not want her to have it.
Next morning, she called her boyfriend, but he did not answer.
Next evening, she called him again, but he did not answer.
She became worried gradually. She went to his house, but he was not there. From the day that I talked about pregnancy, I could not contact him.
Every night, she cried and cried. However, she decided to bear her baby and raise her. She said to her parents. At first, they disagreed, but finally, they decided to help her with child care.
Next day, she went to hospital and said to an obstetrician that she'd decided to bear. From that day, she took medial treatment to prevent her baby from being infected with AIDS. When she had her baby, it was delivered by caesarean section. Medical treatment and a caesarean operation were decreased infection which was to a baby from a parent.
At last, she delivered her baby. Thanks to medical treatment, her baby was not infected. The baby was a girl. She raised her and now she is 20 years old now."

Eriko talked to her daughter crying.
Her daughter asked her, "Are you ok? Why are you crying? This story is about your friend, Naomi, isn't it? You do not need to cry."
Eriko said to her daughter, "Yes, I do not need to cry."
Her daughter said to Eriko, 'Then, Naomi's daughter is the same age as me! I want to see her!"
Eriko looked confused her daughter felt that something is strange. Her daughter came up with suddenly.
She said to her mother "Is this story... about you? You took many medical treatments and bore me?"
Eriko cried. When she saw her mother cry, she understood everything.
She said to her mother, "Thank you for raising me. I am happy to live with you."
She hugged her mother.